Tight Fit

Helped with more Bourne Free stuff today.  Mr and Mrs Bedford have been round for a bit this evening.  Trying to experiment with a Tenga but my dick is too big for it >_>

Glog

Some Torchlight, finished the main story dungeon.

Pic of the day: Little Friend

Itchy

Counselling at OTR, did a couple of bits for Kev and Billy.  Saw Elliott there, left him to go down the pub on his own.  Will be helping setting up Bourne Free stuff tomorrow, I like being useful.  Cut my hair and getting shit in genereal cleaned up in preparation.

Glog

Getting well into Torchlight.  Haven't had time for anything else yet.

Pic of the day: Buzz

Product of Misery

Can't be arsed.

Glog

Torchlight, GTAIV

Pic of the day: That Shit Stings

Staccato

Woke up early to see support worker.  Started raining so went shopping.  Came home, started to feel tired and shit and went to bed.  Woke up at 7:30 pm from a call by Elliott.  Video gamed.  That was the day.

Glog

Raged at MvC2 (the music is shit and so many pre-fight screens), obtained another 80% on Ballad of Gay Tony, now just downloaded Torchlight as it's on sale.

Pic of the day: Don't Need the Sunshine

Overcast

Another stay-at-home day, the dubious highlight being the cunt from flat 5 having an aggresive episode towards two other residents.  I called the popo, then instead about three hours later some social worker-ish dude appears to speak to him.  And of course gives him the old 'we care about you and came to see you because you seem unhappy' bullshit, when really it should be a case of  'stop being a dick to people who've done nothing to you or we'll kick your sorry ass onto the streets'.  Fuck 'care in the community', man.

Christ, I hate this shithole.

Glog

Practicing on MvC2, got some more souls on C:HD.  Now gunning for Velvet Rope/Gold Star on GTA IV since finding out that getting 100% on missions can be done gradually =D

Pic of the day: Sore Fingers

100% x 30

Pretty standard day.  Cleaned up a bit, worked my widdle muscles, and moved the living furniture around a bit, 'caus I felt like it.  And I think I've lost my fucking iPod >_<

Glog

Obtained the final achievement for Limbo (and I did it with only two deaths), bringing me up to 30 complete games, probably the maximum attainable for now.

Trying for some Marvel vs Capcom 2 'cheevos, but I still suck at it badly D=

Pic of the day: Absolute Nerd

Eight

Just got back from dinner with family for Megan's eighth birthday.  I got her a 10" plushie Eevee, which she likes so much she took it to the resturant with us :3  Very tired now, as I already went out twice today, once to collect a parcel and then food shopping.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Glog

Completed the speed run of Braid!  Hell yes! :o)

Pic of the day: Eight

Shade

Did more stuff at OTR, and booked tattoo for Monday the 11th.

Despite starting to improve myself somewhat I'm still feeling shit due to stuff that can't be changed.  I've still got no real future, no reason to exist.  Not important or useful to anyone except a couple of family members.  Haven't been thinking of suicide too much in the past couple of weeks, but now needing to go back to my plans.

Glog

The usual, and a bit of practice for the speedrun of Braid.

Pic of the day: Canopy

Warmth

Spent today down at OTR doing more C/L packs in preparation for Bourne Free (ie Bournemouth Pride), which is only a week away now.  Saw quite a few friendly acquaintances, which is why I like being there so much.  Also went and got a shitload more pick and mix, then bought some incense (as it helps block out the stench from the spiteful bitch next-door).
This year the theme for pride is pirates, so I'm going to go as a ninja and pick fights with everyone :oD

And happy birfday Christine :o

Glog

Grinding my tools on PS0, and levelling Yoko on CVH (which should only take a few hours :3)

Pic of the day: Home

Seeker

Much the same today, just staying chilled, working on myself with a little gaming.  Nothing much to add, I just want to make sure I post every day if possible =op

Glog

A little Castlevania, and a fair bit of PS0

Pic of the day: A Man's Best Friend

Bug

Been awake since my last entry.  Fucking tired. Post will consist of bullet points.

- Spent the night working my body, xboxing, and wanking
- Saw counsellor, session went well
- Spend some good time with Kev, did some condom/lube packs for OTR
- Bought food
- Was eying up fitties all day

Glog

- Phantasy Star 0, raging at the cheapness of bosses and shitty ally AI
- CHD, almost got all non-boss souls for Soma.

Pic of the day: Hotter Than You

Slide.

One thing that irks me more than everything wrong with life is me giving so much of a shit about it.  Of the things that truly matter I've done precious little, yet expend excess thought and emotion on things that have no bearing on me.  Thinking too much of the past, of people who care little to nothing for me, of visualising the impossible.  Still having to make a concerted effort to not care about such things, to do what I know will result in progress and satisfaction.  I general I just need to stop fucking thinking as much.

And just got up so nothing else to report =op

Glog

Castlevania HD, Phantasy Star 0

Pic of the day: Seperations

Unburden

Only got up a couple hours ago, so may start having to do these entries in the early hours of the morning =p

In the middle of a major clear-out, trying to downsize all my crap and get rid of things I know I'll never actually use/wear again.  Doesn't help that I've bought a few new toys and bits of gear recently, heh.  I tend to keep things for years and then throw loads away, and it's time for that :3

Been seeing lots os different insects around recently, woodpeckers, lots of jays, and even have owls in the area.  If only there were less humans =p

Glog

Collecting souls for Soma on Castlevania HD, and rather addicted to it.  Dreading having to collect the boss souls though >_<
Pic of the day: Guess who I saw today?

This is the Place

Feeling really quite physically healthy now, so am really starting to see and feel progress with my taking better care of myself.  It's also been making me feel a lot hornier, and even managed to wank twice in the space of a few hours yesterday, which almost never happens.  Not complaining though =op

Just doing some more cleaning and gaming today, got a shitload of paperwork to sift through and get rid of, getting bogged down with it.

Glog

More PS0, may well get it for myself after returning it to Tom as I'm starting to like it so much, has a very PSO-feel to it.  Maxed Julius on Castlevania HD, now starting on Yoko while gradually collecting boss souls for Soma.

Really quite bored with Pokemon White, all the new features are nice but there's so little to do and training is only viable by hunting a single species of rare pokemon.

Pic of the day: Interloper

Ad Continuum

Still sleeping a lot, but motivated myself enough to go buy food, and there's little that compares to the sheer pleasure of a full fridge.  Getting a wink from the dude in the shop comes close though...and now so very tempted to actually make a move on him :3

Glog

Gotten into PS0 properly now, though various things still make me rage, such as how weak Resta/Mates are compared to how much damage some enemies can deal.  Still fun though ^^

Still grinding on Castlevania HD, almost got Julius maxed now.  Already done Shanoa, Maria, Simon and Alucard so a long way to go until completion =op

Pic of the day: Orobanche

Spent most of today in bed as had a lot of sleep to catch up on, for some reason didn't get to sleep easily last night.  Had to cancel my counselling appointment two hours before it was due 'caus I just felt dead to the world >_<

And that's what I did today.

Glog

Started a bit of Phantasy Star 0.

Pic of the day: HP and Status Restored

Pleasantly Late

A late entry, as I just got back from Mr and Mrs Bedford's.  Too tired to detail things, but had chinese, cake, Smash Bros, and had to get rid of some drunk bloke ringing the buzzer.

Glog

A bit of Castlevania HD, tinkered with Castlevania X (SNES), a good bit of Smash Bros Brawl (my Kirby owned as usual :3), tried a little Ocarina of Time 3D and was very impressed, and borrowed Phantasy Star 0 from Mr Tom.

Pic of the day: Aftermath

Shift

Had a fairly shitty start to the day, thinking about someone from a couple months ago and how bad things went with them.  And starting again now writing this.  Already gave myself a set of cuts earlier so should stop thinking about it now.

Had a meeting with support worker and a new nuisance prevention officer today to try to get that creature uptairs sorted.  Went as well as expected, in that I have to start the process from the beginning again and all that shit.

All this going nowhere and people bullshitting me about giving a shit is pushing me closer to wanting to die.  Wish I'd done it already, I wouldn't have to be here thinking about it now >_<

Glog

Just some Castlevania HD, strengthening Julius.

PotD: Kitchen Alchemist

Dust

I hate clutter and mess.  Even though my little den is really quite well-kept I'm always trying to make it look clearer and am rarely happy with how it looks. The most productive things I've done today is just cleaning the place up a bit, need to clear some shit out very soon as well (which I do so every so often).  Sorted out my gear cupboard too, which was in an absolute state, which it will probably go back to soon =op

Other than that just been xboxing and utoobing.

Glog

Finally finished off all possible quests in New Vegas and the current add-ons.  A few are missing, which is due to factions, conflicts and bugs.

Pic of the day: Courier

Killer Princess

Had Meggie over today, and as usual one of the first things she wants to do is play on my 360. After a little while I indulged her and let her play Castlevania: Harmony of Despair, which she's gotten quite good at.  Well, relatively speaking - she can mosh her way through some stages but I always handle the bosses, heh.  Being as she really likes old Egyptian things she's obssesed with chapter 7, and pleasantly surprised me by reaching the boss.  After defeating the boss at one point Meg said one of the best things ever: "She is SUCH a loser!"
Despite wanting to be a princess and wanting everything to be pink she has a strong tomboyish streak :oD
After that we played a bit of Katamari, which is of course beyond awesome.

Glog

Finished off all quests in Honest Hearts, just got a couple of odd sidequests to do in the main game of New Vegas and I'll shelve it until the next DLC is released.

Want to shoot for a few outstanding achievements in other games too, along with everything else I have on the go =op

Pic of the day: Vampire Killer

Under Ice

I love beautiful dudes, a bit too much.  Because it fucking hurts seeing them, knowing that I'll likely never find one of my own.  And we're talking real awesome specimens who are beautiful both inside and out.  Being queer sucks, even more so when you're as fucked-up as I am.  I know that I'm always going to be alone, and first realised this many years ago, yet the drive to fulfill that loneliness still gnaws at my soul.  I just wish there a way to suppress that desire, to be unaffected by how charming and attractive someone is. 

As for the rest of today: woke up, watched some shit, stretched, went to the shop, cried a little inside at the beautiful shop dude, had a wank (back home, not in the shop), designed my next tattoo, all the while getting engraged by the bitch next door and her ever-pervading foul stenches.

Glog

Pokemon White.  Blah

Pic of the day: Xolotl

English Summer Rain

Had a dream last night, I forget most of it but I know I was with my niece and I was in a group taking her somewhere.  At the end we reached the rooftop of a very high building at night, and the floor was made of tiles with odd spaces inbetween, through which the streets below were visible.  I was absolutely terrified and picked my way across, cautious that I could slip between these half-inch wide cracks.  Which is odd, as falling from an insane height has been my idealised method of suicide for many a month now.  Being at heights in real life, or even in games, feels somewhat exhilarating, knowing that at the correct height I could just let go, then have around four seconds to say goodbye to everything before I explode on the ground.  Yet since meditating on that particular method I've had quite a few dreams involving heights, and feeling abject terror that I haven't felt in dreams before.

Though on the bright side the dream did include a massive badass Octillery made of some kind of dark metal that I really have to sketch down sometime.

Went for a little stroll down Alum Chine an hour or so ago, looking for something for my 365 project.  I fucking love being out in the rain, especially around verdant areas and the beach, and it means that very few others are out.  I hate the building I live in but really don't want to leave this area, it's ace (and with mister and missus B five minutes away).  Otherwise a run-of-the-mill day; went shopping, bought birthday presents online, blah.

Glog

More Pokemon White, pushing myself to get it all finished with.  For the few decent features they added there are many more things left out (no VS Seeker?  Fuck you, GameFreak) or pointlessly irritating things.

Still got a few games to finish current playthroughs of; Castlevania Order of Ecclesia, Honest Hearts, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon.  Need to finally defeat Father R and the Lost Chapter of Bayonetta, and still haven't played the extra chapters of Assassin's Creed 2 despite having them for months.

Pic of the day: English Summer Rain

The Dude

Counselling day today, got to talking about and analyzing my emotional armour that I've worn for all my adult life.  I've never really thought about it that much, or of finding ways to control it more since it can create substantial barriers between myself and others.  Also discussed the differences between the serious, businesslike me and the llittle kid hiding inside.  I'm very much an overgrown child in many ways, and I love it.  Overall a fairly productive session, where I actually did most of the talking. 

Went into Sweet City and saw Christine, as well as getting £7 of pick 'n' mix (I am such a child, but that's what makes me awesome).  I'm going to make a point of trying something new every time I go in there, since they stock craploads of American candy that I've never tasted.  Got a box of Lemonheads today, which are basically a lemon version of Atomic Fireballs that I used to get as a kid (usually during breaktimes, paid for with my lunch money).

Getting very, very fucked off with neighbours as well.  Lots of noise coming from the bitch upstairs, but it's the decrepit harridan next door which makes shit miserable.  I can't bloody stand the constant cigarette smoke and foul smell out in the hallway and creeping under my door, and her wandering around babbling and shouting random things at thin air.  I used to be sympathetic towards her, but she's got a viscious demeanor, lies to support workers and doesn't seem to realise just how well people try to look after her.  She cannot look after herself and does not belong in individual housing, she needs residential round-the-clock care =/

Glog!

Haven't had time for much today, just training my little team of ghosts and ghouls on Pokemon White.  Christine got all excited today and informed me of some new games with naked dudes and penises in them.  I think she even dribbled on the counter at one point, but I was polite enough not to point it out.

Pic of the day: Emptiness

Cold Light of Day

I love foul weather like we have now, even though it doesn't rain as much as it should.  Makes me want to go out even more, even if I have do have to dodge a batshit harpy whenever I leave my front door. Although it does bring out the gastropods, vile but infinitely curious little things, I'd like to see them all banished to the oceans to be with their prettier cousins.

Christ, that sounded a rather poetic and pretentious opening, although it does sum up how exciting things are.  Been spending the past week or so watching through all old episodes of Doctor Who (screw the modern trash) while grinding on Castlevania HD and Pokemon White.  Interpersed with that has been plenty of physical activity and not eating shit, finally resulting in a little bit of tummy fat disappearing.  Still a ways to go before I'm fully happy with my figure, but it's the only bit I'm really unhappy with.  At the same time it helps save money of course, since trash foods are always the most expensive relative to their actual value.  A good thing too, since I have three birthdays coming up to provide for, and one of those is Megan's and I always spoil her something rotten.

So yeah, started this bloggage on a whim to record stuff, get things out and for a little bit of catharsis.  At the same time I've started a 365 project on Flickr, so these two things will hopefully help give structure to my time.  Also to be used partly as a gaming blog, since it's what I spend a lot of time doing.  I shall call it.... Glogging!

Today's Gaming Log (Glog)

Mainly Pokemon White, finished it a few days ago so playing through again with the idea of using all Ghost and Psychic-types, since there are so many new ones.  And they're shit.  Shallow movepools, dreadful speed, and practically every species encountered so far has a Dark-type move to fuck them up with.  I'm not going to bother playing it that thoroughly, especially since so much is dependant on Wi-Fi functions and other stuff.  Still working on my Platinum 'Dex though, borrowed HeartGold from Meggy and so the pokes I get from that should push my total up to around 480.

Still need to finish my proper play-through of Honest Hearts (Fallout: New Vegas), but the bugginess makes it hard work sometimes.  The main problem in Zion is that mobs get trapped in the terrain very often, and there's little worse than a Giant Cazador getting trapped in a rock then freeing itself and stabbing you in the back when you turn around.  And the sound of enemy Shishkebabs being at full-volume hundreds of feet away.  FFS Bethesda >_<

Current backlog: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2, Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Pokemon HeartGold, Cthulu Saves the World, and probably more that I've forgotten about :c


Pic of the day: First in the 365